Most people have had a job somewhere along the line that, well, they just were not cut out for. Mine is anything and everything involving the unfortunate mixture of “hospitality” and food “service” that is a fast food restaurant. Other [probably insane] people like it, but it doesn’t matter how you fry it, it’s just not for me. And here are seven reasons why.

1. I don’t particularly enjoy washing my hair twelve times per day. When you work at a fast food restaurant people know. You smell like you work at a fast food restaurant. In cases like McDonald’s, normal people find this bad. In cases like Subway, normal people find it delightful. However, if you happen to work at the latter, you find it revolting, and would like nothing more than to not smell like Subway. Unfortunately, spending 5+ hours a day there means that it seeps into your clothes and hair and it has incredible lasting power. Fast food smells are the Gorilla Glue of the scent world.

2. Some people are mean. Nothing ruins an already less than desirable work day quite like some rude dude coming up to the counter and being a total butt wipe. This applies not only to overly picky and snobby customers who want things placed (no lie) at a particular spot on their bread, but also to the ones who talk so quietly you can’t hear them and then blame you not being able to hear them on you being a “stupid American.” Thank you, Mr. Incredibly-Polite. You are a ray of sunshine beating down on my already not at all annoying and mildly degrading job.

3. Other people are... Not the sharpest tools in the shed. I love people who either can’t read or, more likely, choose to strategically ignore posted information. For example, if something is out of order, which the toaster currently is at my place of work. We have a sign posted at eye level on the door. We have a sign posted where customers place their order. So the person walks up, and says “Is your toaster working?” “Why yes, ma’am. We just put those signs up for ***** and giggles, but shhhhh! Don’t tell anyone!” Or better yet, “I’d like *this cheese* and toasted please.” Really? Just, really? The worst part about that is having to respond pleasantly and politely. Because...

4. I really only pretend to be nice. Deep down, in the cavity where you’re supposed to have this red thing that pumps blood, I have a black hole surrounded by ice. That makes it really hard for me to smile at people who sit on their mobile phones and act like I am interrupting THEM while trying to take the remainder of their order. 

5. You know what’s actually in there. I guess this would be a lot worse for some places than others. For instance, I would imagine McDonald’s could be potentially terrifying (though still full of greasy, mysterious deliciousness). But it is a universal rule. Ignorance really is bliss. I know Subways in America don’t have smoothies, but here they do. And I’ll tell you what. You are a lot more attracted to the idea of drinking one before you have to make one. That sign that says “Real Fruit!” failed to mention that the other 99.999...% was frozen gunk and artificial fruit concentrate. 

6. There’s too many rules. Those pesky health regulations dry the living daylights out of my hands. They’ve also caused me to become a Monk-like compulsive hand-washer. I know, I know. I wouldn’t want anyone preparing MY food if they hadn’t washed their hands, even if they’re putting gloves on as well. But it’s a pain in the butt when I have to do it.

7. You have to memorise otherwise completely useless information. This includes prices, promotions, catch phrases, pretty much anything. At Subway, this means all of the “Sandwich Formulas.” I’m not even going to try to count how many sub options you have, but the point is, when you start dreaming about someone making a BMT incorrectly and and then you meticulously correcting them, you need a different job.


*Raven*
 


Comments

James
11/14/2013 15:14

What I find to be is not the customers most are fine and if they are not I only deal with them for a short time. I find the worst thing are my coworkers not all but it always seems there are several assholes who are nasty rude et upset at petty things. Push by scream yell get mad because you made a drink affter they already made it.

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Bojangles
05/20/2014 17:54

I work at a fast food place. Whataburger, graveyard shift. I don't even like whataburger, and now that I work there I like it even less. Bugs everywhere and most of the workers are still in high school. We always get the drunks and every other day someone get's arrested since the police are already aware of the kind of customers we get. I have also had dreams where I am at work and it really is not a good sign. I need a better job.

Reply
Caleb
07/08/2014 01:29

Not to mention the low pay.

Reply



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